10th April - Sam
We wake up at Teal's house about midday and we've got loads of new clothes cause she owns a vintage clothes company and sorted us out in a drunken craze last night. Lord knows we need some new clothes, the ones we own are in rags from touring so much. Then Sarah, another friend of ours takes us over to her salon to cut all our hair. I've got the shittest hair cut ever at this point cause I cut it my self when I was in Spain - what was I thinking! So I get sorted, Hal gets sorted, then it's Jamie's turn - ha ha. When he gets back from his chop he has the most Emo cut ever. He's gutted to say the least and it's more than Hal and I can do to not take the piss. Jamie's favourite diss is "dude, that's so Emo!", so this is absolutely classic! It's gonna be a good week of taking the piss. We then hit the road. Got another long ass drive to get back to LA. We get pulled over by a cop later that evening which hasn't happened in a while (we learnt on our second tour that's it's bad to advertise our band name on the oustide of the van). He hasn't got much on us - we were driving about 5 miles over the speed limit. We put on the poshest English accents and say "I'm terribly sorry officer, we're a band from England don't you know". As cops go he's pretty sound so lets us on our way with a warning. We drive through the night...

9th April - Hal
We stayed in the most minging motel last night: I’m so oblivious to it now that I slept like a baby. The maid was banging on the door horribly early to get all the scum out in good time – we ignored her, obviously! We hit the road via a trip to steel internet from the better motels across the street. Job done, we searched for our prized Cracker Barrel (Breakfast for a Tenner) where stocked up on extra ‘Biscuits’ (like a soft Scon – not at all like a Hob Nob!) for the long journey home. Tonight’s show is the last one and then we’re to make our arduous drive to California. We made good time today and arrived early. With nothing to do, we got a Gatorade and sat in the local college to look at all the lovely young girls walking around in their little running shorts - naughty! Loaded in and I can safely say I’ve never seen a more rancid toilet in my life: I walked in to see a Cock Roach scurry away and nearly puked when the smell hit me. It was Grim…. and then some. I should know by now to use the girl’s washroom before the club opens: always a different story. Found Jamie was already there, so I prepared a nice ball of wet toilet paper and launched it over the top to interrupt what sounded like a lot of hard work on Jamie’s part! I was heart broken to find that the venue had just lost it’s license, so no booze! Shit! The day was saved by Squarewheel, who arrived with some 8% beer, like our Special Brew; it tasted like shit, but was just what I needed! We threw in a lot of older songs tonight that we haven’t played in a good while. We wanted to get them up to par for LA’s show on the 21st – worked a treat! This is what touring does for you, it engrains material into yr fingers: we played them pretty much as we always played em, a few lost lyrics, but I lose them at the best of times! After the show we grabbed some pizza with Dallas’ mighty Sara and Teal, along with Mr, Wyatt (good lad!) and then headed to the city as fast as we could for last orders. We ended up in the their local…and got shit-faced! The Chop was brought out and this changed my mellow mood into quite the opposite. There were some mad geezers in that bar! We got booted out as Sara sprayed the barman with some mixer…we scarpered back to Teal’s house and just carried on with the party. Teal is a Vintage Clothes supplier, so her house is a warehouse of the stuff. We dressed up for a few hours – as silly as we could find, stocked up a little, partied some more, and then crashed in front of some surfing video, which convinced me that I should be a surfer – at least it did then, but… Sharks!? It was then time to crash, so I made my exit and decided to bunk-up next to Sam who was already well and truly passed out. Ahhhh, Texas.

7th April - Sam
I got out of my skull (into obvlivion) last night, which is kinda rare cause I can handle my booze pretty well - usually. So not feeling to hot today! Luckily we don't have a show but unluckily we've got the longest ass drive ever to get over to Dallas in time for Sunday's show (over 1000 miles). We drive and drive and drive and drive and drive... and drive some more.

6th April- Hal
Last night was a great night with them Frauds lads: showed us the town, gave us a bed and didn’t let us spend a penny (we’ll have to get them over to England for a proper drinking session!). Obviously woke a little heavy-headed, but nothing a shower wouldn’t remedy. We snuck out passed the sleeping beast (who’d passed out on the sofa and was snoring and dribbling to cartoons) and left Ocean City for the scenic drive to VB. Scenic drive turned out to be the most boring, let’s get stuck behind old people observing speed limits by minus 20mph, I have endured thus far! So we arrived a little late, but the guys at the Peppermint were so cool and had food and beer ready for us: I’d asked for Newcastle Brown and Guinness on every rider, but every venue had assumed Miller Lite as one and the same, and it ain’t dammit! So I’d called them and said “pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase”, and they did it! I love Guinness! There were four bands playing tonight, which meant it was going to be a late one for us. But, we’d sold a shed-load of merch before the first band had even hit the stage, so tonight was going to be good! We eventually played around 1am, played a good set, nice and solid! It was wicked to see people singing along – this is only our second time in VB, it’s gonna be a good town for us! Superock were on as support again tonight and are a great bunch of lads. I found out that the bass player’s girlfriend had been arrested for streaking in front of George Bush at some protest – gotta love that spirit! And they invited us to stay at their house. So we burnt back to their place, met their crazy dog who was a source of sport for a good hour or two, and then watched The Hellacopters DVD – my favourite band of the moment….so I was happy chap and got to chill a little. Cheers!

4th April - Sam
We woke up in the van today, so a bit dizzy but our friend Caitlin, from Tornoto is in town and she's offered to take us to lunch, so it aint that bad. We haven't had anything but Pizza and Beer in days, maybe even weeks so the thought of proper food is unbelievable. We hit the streets of Boston and find an Irish pub (closest thing we could find to a bit of home). We all get Shepards Pie (they didn't have bangers n mash) and we even get desert - fat bastards we are - thanks Caitlin, you're wicked! We then hit the road for Philadelphia. It's a painful drive cause we have to go through NYC which takes forever! We eventually get to the club just after 8.30 and we find out we're meant to be on stage, like 5 minutes ago. So after a bit of a chat with the promoter we decide to ditch the gig cause there just aint no point. We're usually pretty hardcore when it comes to shows and never drop out but sometimes you just got to accept it. We decide to head over to see our friends in West Chester (just down the road from Philly) and meet everyone at another Irish pub - what can I say we miss the pub back home. After a good jolly up, my mate Kate (cheers darlin'!) takes me and Jamie for dinner while Hal gets drunk with Donnie (owns Rex's, the club we always play in West Chester), Bam and Ryan Dunn. When we get back Hal and everyone else is pretty much shit faced and Donnie offers up Rex's for after hours partying, so we head over there for booze and pool. It gets kinda blurry here, but I remember shooting pool with Ryan and everyone being hammered. When it finally gets time to hit the road Ryan says we can stay at his gaff, so we head back to his house and end up playing more pool and pinball in his basement. We finally get to sleep as the sun is coming up and the guilt birds are singing in full chorus.

2nd April - Jamie
We’re in Boston tonight we’re in early. We Get to the club and decide to go to the hotel, on the way we see that hard fi are playing also tonight, which pisses us off because we were due to be out with them, and they have a lush tour bus! Anyway we get to the hotel and chill watch tele for a bit then head to the venue. There’s just us and American minor playing tonight so we set up on stage the sound guy tells us we’re not getting a sound check, which is weird because it’s still early and we’re on first, so we can leave the settings set. Anyway then we find out that we don’t get any booze...!!!!!! this worries us Hal most of all. what sort of place is this ? what sort of place doesn’t look after a out of town band?? This is so shit man… when we get to play my drum monitor isn’t even on ! I can’t hear a thing I ask the sound man to turn it on but no! what a twat!! We get off stage and the A.M boy’s say we sounded great.. we get some pizza in and while waiting some dude orders up a slice. When he’s handed it he spends ages putting condiments on it, he turns around takes two steps and just drops the thing on the floor !!! oh my god me and Sam have to turn away to stop from belly laughing out loud. We turn to each other and say “cuntish” he turns around and say’s “don’t pretend you didn’t see that” we just piss ourselves! After he fights with himself about him just eating I say to him about the 5 second rule and that he should eat it.. but he doesn’t he gets a new one.. we head out!!

1st April - Sam
Last night was a big one. Jamie and I ended up at some friends house and I don't know where Hal is - we left him at the club about 4 AM last night. We finally track down Hal to the Van. I knock on the window and say where the fuck have you been? He's in a pretty bad state and doesn't really want to deal with me getting him up. We also left all the gear in the club last night so we have to load the van which isn't good for any of our heads. We hit the road and cut the miles up to Conneticut where we get a motel. Then we all fall into a coma.

31st March - Hal
Rex’s ain’t so much a gig, as a drinking session! We made the fatal move of going well over-board upon our first visit here and we’ve suffered the wrath ever since; we gave ourselves the reputation of being exuberant drinkers, and the relationship of such with the owner and staff – it was actually the Blood Hound Gang’s fault: we met them here and that’s how the whole messy session started: what are you going to do, say “no”? With this in mind, we arrived knowing what was to be. Tonight was also The Frauds last night out with us, so the send-off was set. We rolled into town relatively early. We’d hit the famous Cracker Barrel for breakfast on the way up from Baltimore with Eric and EJ (The Frauds). We gave them a quick education on how a touring band can buy a breakfast of Kings, for three, for under a tenner! Nutrition done, we headed into town and started to poster the place and find people that may know us. Got back to the venue, set up and then grabbed some shut eye before the festivities started: this had a chain reaction as every band passed out in sympathy. Snooze done, the night kicked off and the crowd started to roll in. Beer was poured and tales told. The Frauds played with venom and American Minor, who’d joined us on the beer front, stepped up with their own brand of ‘Southern’ venom (I think it’s the best gig they’ve played). By the time we got to the stage it was about 1.30am…. so it was a little messy – both up there and out in the crowd! Rex’s finally shut up shop and the Whiskey came out! America Minor stuck around for a good few, but Lord knows what happened to the Frauds? I’m writing this today; the night after, hidden in our hotel… this one hurts.. it was hard-core.. I woke up a crumpled mess in the back of the van, half dressed, ruddy faced and sweating at 2pm!

30th March - Sam
Baltimore tonight. We drive through wicked country side and get to the club about 7ish. There's been a bit of a cock up with the promotion and billing tonight and we find out that we have to actually go on first. It sucks but we get on with it and it turns out to be a good show. We also get Stella for the green (back) room which is a right bonus. I'm getting sick and tired of Bud Light - it tastes like piss water - I don't know how the yanks put up with it all the time. After the show we head back to The Frauds house and chill with them in their basement studio until the wee hours of the morning.

29th March - Jamie
We arrive at the club early, so we try to get a hotel. We end up driving 10 miles or so out of town, but in stead of getting a motel we get a cracker barrel. We head back to the club, and find the club has rolled out all the stops and there’s so much food… gutted!!! We get 6 drinks tickets each so we get into them… after the show Sam pulled so we hang out and eat left over's while he say’s goodbye. We head out to a motel.

28th March - Hal
Last night was a result! A Monday night, full and rocking? Bizarre! Woke up feeling good. We had tea, loaded up the van from our 2 days in Indianapolis and hit the road. Sweet Home Chicago.. this means Pizza Pie! Got to the venue, loaded in, sound checked and then headed off to find Pizza. We found a wicked joint called Gino East (which is apparently ‘world famous’, but then everything in America is ‘world famous’ according to the owners, bit like their ‘world championship’sports, played exclusively by Americans, in America!) even the cops were eating there, which makes for a funny sense of digestion; Cops and Thieves in the same room?! There’s pizza and then there’s Chicago Pizza: it’s not even comparable, it’s a totally different meal.. almost like a steak and kidney pie base, with the elements of a pizza thrown in – really good. Got back to the club and found it filling up nicely! Met old friends and watched all the bands kick out the Jams. It was a good night and all of us are getting better and better each night. After the show we were headed to a party, but our guide, who was a Chicago native, knew her way around the city as well as a blind French child! So we spent a good hour going back and forth until she conceded defeat and we took directions from elsewhere. Party missed we headed back to another house. This was Lori’s pad. Lori is a ‘kept’ lady, and her apartment is pretty amazing. I personally think we should donate her house to some homeless dude and enjoy the tale, but that’s another story! In a strange state of mind, we decided to cut the miles to Akron. I drove until about 6am and was truly snoozing at the wheel when I decided to stop and sleep. The lads had the bench seats so I took the floor. The good thing about the floor is that it’s so uncomfortable you actually prefer to get back up and drive instead.. so I did!

27th March - Jamie
The day started about half past 3, Sam heads out for an oil change and to do the post. When he gets back we have pizza and head out to the show. When we get there, the usual Monday night crowd is there (not many) but as time goes on and show time creeps nearer the bar becomes packed. It turns out to be a good show. After the show we head to Steak’n’Shake where we commandeer some server hats after talking to the whole of the restaurant we head out. We get home about 6 in the morning and go straight to bed.

26th March - Sam
Thank the lord, we have a day off today. We’ve been going at it pretty much since SXSW and we’re all a bit burnt out so a day off is gonna be wicked. We finally get up about 2.30, chill pretty much all afternoon until a friend of Rebecca’s (the girl we’re staying with) comes around and we get stuck into the red wine. After a couple of hours Rebecca’s friend gets very horny and starts telling us how much she likes it in the arse. I won’t go into details but it was a great conversation. After a wicked meal and some good conversation (cheers Rebecca!) we run out of booze so head over to Kelley’s house and get stuck into her bar. We end the night drunk as usual and watch ‘Good Night, Good Luck’ – good film.

25th March - Hal
My voice is so bust up now. I’m trying not to talk, but for a gob-shite such as meself, it’s nigh on impossible to avoid opening my big trap. Fortunately tonight is the last night I have to sing before we get two days off and I can give the old pipes half a chance to repair themselves. But, it’s Saturday night and we’re playing Indy, which is a good town for us – so I ain’t stopping. We got into town quite early and hit up our friend Rebecca who had prepared a fine, fine dinner for us of Italian Beef; in fact, it was so good we decided to postpone the moment until after the show – there would be no rushing of this feast! We hit the club around 9pm, where we met our promoter buddy Greg. Tonight was going to be good and the club was filling up nicely. I met a really cool dude called Cheez. I recognized Cheez from SXSW where he and his mates got into a good scrap with The Towers of London (who are another of my new favourate bands). I asked if he was the very same one, to which I think he thought I was one of them coming up for round two! When I congratulated him on such a valiant performance in the fight he settled down and we had a good laugh about it. So, show time. We played a good set, my throat barely made it but we got away with it. After us was a band called Human After Taste - who’d danced like nutters to our set. Now these boys ain’t normal, infact, they’re bonafide crazy! Dressed in a Camo Bikini, the big mountain man of a singer took to the boards. If he looked nuts his band looked even crazier: one was dressed as an ‘Aids Monkey (?), one was a downhill skier from the 80’s, one was a bondage bunny rabbit and one was an Indian Guru. They were nuts! We walked out after the show to find the After Taste engaged in a scrap with some old punks, we broke the fight up on account of the singer holding a huge cinder block and aiming it at his assailants head – first key of any gig you play: make friend with the hard bastards, the crazy ones and the dangerous ones, then you’ve some chance at surviving these adventures! So, night done, we got back to Rebecca’s and set about that Beef!

24th March - Jamie
We turn up to find American Minor have become a jazz band… There’s snow outside - cold again. We head up to the green room to get started on the beers and I find a bottle of jack, wicked I crack it open and get started. The show is one of our best, although there was one guy in the crowd who was so wasted he was bumping into the girls at the front Hal shout OI SORT IT OUT YOU STUPID DRUNK CUNT!! Very funny…

23rd March - Sam
Nashville tonight. Awesome city and the club we play here has one of the best sounds on the tour. The show goes well and the crowd is really good. We meet some girls that are on Spring Break in the crowd after the show and they offer to put us up at their motel. So we jump in the van and follow them. They get lost on the way and end up in the airport, where they get pulled over by the cops for driving crazy. We obviously don’t stop, cause cops don’t like thieves, so we end up getting a motel else where. Bummer!

22nd March - Hal
Last time we played Birmingham was with Nebula and it was a sunlight finish – which I hate: you know you’ve just killed the day! So we knew this was going to be a good night and we weren’t about to deny ourselves the party. To start with it was just the free water with piss in it – some people call it Miller, others call it Bud. But, with a little persuasion we elevated our kidney processing power to deal with the hard liquor! Nice. We played second and American Minor headlined – we’re rotating each night. Good thing about The Nick is that they don’t get going until around 10pm, so we hit the boards around 11.30 to a nice and loose crowd. I’m surprised how many more people are coming to see us each tour; we had a good crew down and they all wanted the party. We delivered just that and had a great show. We partied well beyond American Minor’s set, but were cautious enough to get out of there before sunrise. Ended up back at Lisa’s house… I’m told that I upset a young lady by passing out on the sofa, I can’t remember getting there or how I ended up on the sofa, but there I was!

21st March - Jamie
We hit traffic and come to a complete stand still we take a piss on the side of the road then I take a wander up the interstate to see what’s going on, but decide it goes on for miles so turn back. After about an hour or so we get moving. It’s so cold, here in Atlanta, Georgia tonight, I go for a coffee and get back just in time to set my stuff up. We head out soon after the show.

20th March - Sam
We’re playing the House of Blues in New Orleans tonight and it’s our frist night of the tour with American Minor and The Frauds. We’re wondering how the city will look after the hurricane. As we drive in, sure enough there are loads of buildings ripped to shreds and loads of caravans in the driveways. The good news is that there is loads and loads of building work going on, so people are getting back on their feet and putting their lives back together. The French quarter seems to be unscathed and still hits me as one of the coolest places on earth. It’s just got so much character to the place it’s unreal. The House of Blues in New Orleans was the first proper one to be built and the place is so cool. We hang out with the other bands and get to know each other over beers. They’re all top lads and it looks like it will be a fun tour with everyone on board. Take a walk through the streets with The Frauds and then hit the road to find a motel about 3 or 4.

19th March - Hal
Woke up late today, Shit! I wake up late everyday. Indeed, we have entered the realms of the unwell! Vampire’s blood is coursing through our veins; well that would be true if I didn’t feel so damn ill, cos ol’ Dracula never got ill: I need more red Steak, obviously! Today was about as exciting as a visit to the Pencil Museum in Lake Windermere. I just sat in the van… and drove! Our goal was Houston, a catch-up on myspace, and a night off – my voice is knackered and I’m not getting a chance to do anything but kill it off more and more as we play shows each and every night – not goodL - a night off is highly sought after. We have a good friend, Jessica, from Pro-Mark Percussion in Houston, she was going to cook up for us and let us crash at her place - nice. We took a little detour to the Houston Galleria where we knew there was a Mac Store. We insouciantly sat outside the store and started on our emails and myspace catch up. Job done, we headed over to Jessica’s where this star of a girl had more pizza and beer than the average tele-addict could ask for… so we set about the important task of Pepperoni and Newcastle Brown Ale and the video ‘Go’. Throat still thrashed though.

18th March - Jamie
It’s an early show so we get down to the venue at about mid-day. Which happens to be miles away from all the festivities on 6th st bummer. We have brekie at a dinner down the street. And then move it up to the venue, we get some free booze, and start setting up. The stage is soaked and “all the young dudes” goes through my head… after the gig we head down to catch the other band we head out with American Minor then down to Emo’s to catch the show of the festival Priestess who are wicked, then Datsons who were even better then Nebula who do a good one then Riverboat Gamblers who suck big big shit flavoured Cock! Then it’s The Hellacopters who are really fuckin good so on it, after the show we bump into ed from Nebula who pulls us on there’s and hellacopters bus wicked bus man we have some biffder and hang out then head out…

17th March - Sam
Tonight should be a good show. We’ve got ‘The Blue Vans’ show cause they had to keep up with their recording schedule and couldn’t do it. We head down to the Komado Records showcase to see our friends Diamond Nights again. Wicked show as always. We head off to our show and have a wicked show ourselves - best one of SXSW . After our show we hear that there’s a big party over at the Hilton, so we head over that way. The party is in full swing in a hotel suite on the 9th floor. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people crammed into one room. It’s a free bar so we get stuck in and I get absolutely mashed up. Some how we make it back to a friends house and pass out as the sun is coming up.

16th March - Hal
We were meant to be at the club for 10am this morning. But I knew when we said “yes”, we really meant “yeah, right!”. The club’s not got the best sound in the world and I passionately hate daytime gigs… but, it’s SXSW and that’s just the deal. Jamie Cullum is a friend of mine (Jazz meets Rock?). Jamie is on tour and was playing SXSW too, so he came down to meet us. What was cool is that one of the guys in his band used to work with me in a guitar store in Oxford – I hadn’t seen him for about 4 years! So that was cool. We had a few drinks and set about the task of the daytime show. It was alright! The Frauds were also playing and they join us on tour next week – good job too, turns out that they’re top geezers.. and you want to tour with the top geezers, not anal ones! Michelle from TVT records came down to see us and after the show she promised to take us out for dinner (when you live on Cracker Barrel, toast and noodles – the thought of a proper diner is beyond exciting!). Me and Jamie were getting pretty drunk at this point and as we chatted to Michelle some Flu Pills fell out of her bag, we drunkenly grabbed them and munched 2 each… I don’t know why, and I don’t know what was in them but we were speeding our nuts off on them! So we went into the heart of the festival and started the night off…We met up with The Vacation and Diamond Nights, who were playing a radio show in some hotel. Jamie and I were speeding like mad and The Vacation were distributing vats of wine around our small ensemble like dedicated French Vineyard owners! It was all getting a little out of hand when Morgan (singer of Diamond Nights) assured the interviewer that he would not swear on air, so I took the responsibility on and issued a big, fat naughty word (should have said Bollocks on refelction). As soon as it surged forward from my lips, they shut the show down and booted us all out. I felt really bad “sorry I ruined your Black Panther Party”, but my offers of an apology to the ‘ Nights were met with a positive response and the band prided themselves on getting booted off – cool! We ended up in Bull McCabe’s Irish Pub on 6th street where we totally missed dinner, but drank enough Guinness to make up on our nutrition!

15th March - Jamie
First SXSW gig in Austin we get some under age girls in to the venue as they want to see us play then they fuck off to find there mate who’s to fucked up to know where she is. After the gig we just head back to thieves HQ for the week (Adams), as it’s well late.

14th March - Sam
Wake up late and head into Austin to sort out posters and flyers. Go for dinner with some friends and Jamie the lucky git gets a free ticket to see The Strokes. So Jamie heads off to watch the show and bumps into the Towers of London who we met last year at CMJ festival and says we'll have to get together for a jolly up. Good lads. Hal and I end up at another show with some friends from LA and party with some nose candy. Then an after party later that night, well morning actually and a really late finish back at Adam's house again.

13th March - Hal
Day off today! Last night was a good crack and I woke up with the prospect of a free haircut, BBQ and dip in Adam’s pool. But, me being so lame, I woke up late! Adam was already out, making burgers and catching rays. I threw some tea on the stove and let the BBQ get smoking. It was wicked! If there’s 2 things Texans know about, it’s steak and BBQ’s! We met a really cool chick last night at the show called Sara. We drunkenly agreed to get our barnets chopped by her… I called her, tentatively, wondering if it was just drunken babble.. but no, Sara was at her salon, sicssors in hand and tunes playing. Sam stayed by the pool so it was just me and Jamie. Sara is a rock star hairdresser: she’d been out all night with us chaps and was still rocking when we saw her! And what a chopper! Best haircut of my life! We were heading for Austin but Sara persuaded us that we had to visit the best Mexican joint in Dallas… and it was! Good crack, so we rolled into Austin late tonight. Sam was already here and put dibs on the bed. We had a few beers and watched Harry Porter – felt like Christmas!

12th March - Jamie
Get in and the promoter takes us out to dinner, we have some great mushroom soup and a burger. When we get back Sam goes for a sleep and me and Hal, meet a crazy bird call Sarah who tells us she can do the highest rock kicks in Dallas (and for one I believe her) she also tells us she is a hair dresser so hal and I light up as we really need a cut, she tells us we can have a hair cut party… woo hooo anyway after the gig we go to a party and Sam got some chop. After the party we head back to Adam’s pad but he’s left the fuckin’ keys somewhere so he has to break in. well funny!

11th March - Sam
In Oklahahoma City tonight. Oklahoma is a wicked town and the people love to rick here, so it should be a good night. We roll up a bit late but when we get to the club there’s loads of people there to help us load in the gear (people here are just wicked). We have a wicked show apart from some twat in the crowd who’s getting a bit too excited and aggressive. After the show this guy gets arrested – I guess that’s Karma. We hit an after party with the 1st band and the boys from ‘The University’. F’ing wicked people here! We head back to an all girls house and crash. Top night!

10th March - Hal
Corey called earlier to say that he had about 6 pounds of Pork cooking on the Barby, slabs of Salmon, Corn Bread and Sweet Potato – so we weren’t to be late, and we weren’t to be sneaky and stop at a Cracker Barrel on the way;-) Of course we put the pedal down and got to Columbia as fast as our van would take us…. And Corey did not lie.. what a feast! I passed out like a snake that ate a deer for a while.. and then Corey cracked out some Boddingtons! Result! Wake up! We played with Corey’s band Megazilla tonight, who were great; he and Joey get better and better every gig. Joey plays drums and it was his 25th birthday, so the mission was on: the Eastside crew was in on it, and when we played I made sure the whole bar knew about it… it was shot after shot. It was a great night, all the bands were great and the venue was full of Columbia’s finest. This is a good bar – and apart from the huge Frat boy element - it’s a great place. We had a few late drinks in the bar and somehow we all got spilt up. I ended up back at Corey and Kate’s place, we had Joey dribbling in the corner, Tucker (the famous Coon Hound) throwing his snot all over the place, Kate trying to make sure Joey was still breathing (by serving him more booze!) whilst me and Corey put the world to rights – we would make a great Prime Minister and President I think! Touring has become a series of visits to old friends. Corey and Kate are some of the finest! We’ll see you in Austin chaps ;-)

9th March - Jamie
Wake up from the best nights sleep for days to find Hal and Sam got to the showers first, what does this mean you ask. I’ll tell you what it means, cold shower!! (although I have got balls the size of beach balls, and so horny I could shag a warm meat pie) THIS IS NOT GOOD. So I fire up the shower, freezing! I jump in holding me nuts wet my hair, turn it off, put shampoo in said hair and wash said nuts. Turn water on again and wash off as quick as possible. Job done. Hal hands me a nice cuppa to warm me cockles, thanks pal, we head out to Kansas …. Wow, Kansas….. Great…… This Drive is SO BORING BORING BORING BORING BORING BORING BORING BORING BORING BORING !

8th March - Sam
Bastardo, it’s the Rockies again. We almost died last time we were in the Rockies, spinning our van off of the ice covered road and ending up in a ditch. Half way through the journey we get notice on the radio that the main freeway we’re on, (the I80) has been closed. We have to take another route which takes forever and when we get to the next freeway (the I70) it’s also covered in ice, so we have to trundle on at 30 mph for the next 2 hours. After 11 hours on the road we eventually get to Denver (thank god) and go to meet our friends Rob and Shannon for a few beers. Ah, beer tastes so good after you’ve been on the road for 11 hours. We head back to Rob and Shannon’s, chill out and then hit bed. Pretty un-eventful day apart from seeing our friends.

7th March - Hal
Rolled into town well ahead of time. A mate in SLC met up with us and took us out to this really cool pizza joint that had a cinema in it; you order your pizza, and a beer, and then watch a movie – what a great idea – gotta get one of these in LA! And, as luck’d have it… we watched Johnny Cash’s, Walk The Line – wicked film! So pizza, beer and Cash done, we headed back to the Tiki… it was bare and empty; Monday’s and Tuesday’s are infamously hard for getting a packed house, but this was just taking the piss! Oh well, we’ve been here before and we’ll be here again, so we plugged in and were about to kick off when the door just started spewing people into the room; within 5 minutes it was all looking rather respectable. What could we do, but raise the flag and meet the game? So we kicked out the jams and let SLC have their Tuesday Night Rock Club; and it continued to get busier as we played – nice. After the show we had a few drinks and headed over to a party at Mike’s, the promoter’s, house. Things got good, I passed out.. and here I am eating pizza for breakfast…. Can’t beat that – well a full English fry-up, obviously… but, when in Rome…

6th March - Jamie
Wake up on the sofa with a bastard of a crook neck, and so knackered, but Hal’s got the coffee on so we should be fine in a bit. Jason and Chris arrive about 10.30 and we get straight into the bass.(after coffee of course) Sam cracks though it in a couple of hours and we move on to the Guitar. Half way through Guitar takes we go for lunch with the local music rag. We do the interview in a dark 70s dinner over 3 omelettes with hash browns. (sounds good, but the reality, not so much) so after photo’s and a quick chat we head back to the Studio. Hal finishes his guitars and we piss about laughing at each others vocal performances and I do the percussion at about 3.30am (I get offered the job of session block and tambourine player) the track is sounding killer, so then to bed for a well deserved kip.

5th March - Sam
It’s the first day of our recording session at Tonic Studios in Boise today – some friends of ours from Boise, (Jason and Chris) own the studio and offered to give us some time with them on production duties. I get a cab to the studio cause some how I lost the boys last night. We put a big pot of coffee on and get to work. Jason has about 4 drum kits, so we build a fat kit for Jamie with a 24” bass drum (Bonham styley) and get the amps plugged in and the valves cookin’. We jam most of the day through and I have to say Jamie’s drumming is on fire today. We hit bed about 3AM, totally knackered but content that we’ve got some killer drum tracks down. I get to sleep in the mastering suite which is totally sound proofed apart from weird sounds coming through the air vents which make an eerie ghost sound. I just watched ‘The Exoricism of Emily Rose’ the other day and it sounds like the demons from the film. In my state of sleepy delirium it kinda freaks me out but I’m too knackered to do anything about it… dead to the world.

4th March - Hal
I’ve said it before: this town kicks arse. It’s an oasis, some hidden little secret… or maybe it’s just me? Towns are made good or bad by the people you meet in them, and so, we’ve obviously met all the right people in this one – friendly, good fun people who aren’t scared to enjoy their weekend. Got into town early, loaded the gear in and went off searching for tucker! Lord, Jah or Allah have mercy; we found the best Curry House in America yet! Lawrence, KS had the title, now Boise’s got it!! With a start like this, you know it’s a gonna be a good night. We hit the beer hard to celebrate (and they had Newcastle Brown Ale – it’s just fateful this place!). We’re getting quite a good name for ourselves in Boise and whilst normally we play the better known Neurolux, the punters came out, they drank, they danced, they screamed and they partied! We’re recording tomorrow at the Tonic Room with our good friends Jason and Chris, who own the studio.. should be good… and I’m enough into the tour now to handle any type of hangover – professionals dammit! At Megans house now with Jamie, Sam got lucky else where….til the morrow, and til next time… Curry Curry Curry! Can’t wait to get back here…

3rd March - Jamie
So we’ve got a day off, already? So anyway we cook up dinner (a nice pasta piece and some good red) and watch a movie. The great Napoleon Dynamite, we piss ourselves laughing - such a bad, but at the same time, great movie. We all get to bed about 3am.

2nd March - Sam
Woe, we have to wake up bloody early this morning because we have a 10 hour drive to Portland. I don’t really have a hang over, I’m just bloody brain dead. We hit the road at about 8.30 and the drive is actually pretty nice because it’s spring and the countryside is coming to life. Lake Shasta is so serene and beautiful and I wish we could have stayed there for a bit longer. We soldier on all day and finally get into Portland about 7PM. We’re playing with our friends Polysics (a crazy Japanese electro pop/punk band) tonight and it’s set to be a goodun. After load in we catch up over a drink with another friend of ours called ‘London’ – she’s a sexy Suicide Girl don’t you know, who shot us (photos) last time we were in town. Then it’s show time. Hal and I hit the stage but Jamie’s nowhere to be seen – as usual he’s back stage chatting up some girl... Eventually he graces us with his presence and we rock the house. There’s a good crowd and we’re starting to get to grips with the new songs we’ve got in the set – rockin’! After the show we head back to our friend’s (Ed) house and have tea; proper English styley. Then bed at 4 for deep, deep, knackered sleep.

1st March - Hal
We were meant to be in San Francisco last night. We were going up early to get a head-start and ease ourselves into the next 8 weeks of touring; it’s important to ease in, if you can, especially if you’ve not done it in a month or two;-) But it never happened: we didn’t finish loading the van until 9pm and our bags at around 2am this morning! We got to Frisco, loaded in and then met our good mate Dan for dinner. Dan’s an old mate of mine from England - and what a fella; he treated us to Chinese food and shed-loads of beer! We got back to find the club filling up nicely. This was the first night of the tour and very satisfying to see people coming out to see us again. It’s always a little bit of a dusting off on the first night; good show though and so glad to be back out on the road. Before we played, some geezer grabbed my arm and said “alright Hal?!”. I thought I’d seen this fella earlier but dismissed it as impossible. Turns out it was Nolan, one of my old school mates from Oxford; he was on Holiday in San Fran with his lady and saw us in the paper, so rolled up! It also turns out he knew Dan (Oxford's a small city!). So we played the show, had some more drinks, got the gear packed, had a few more drinks and then headed back to Dan’s house to consume the mass of alcohol that he’d persuaded out of the barman’s hands. Dan had some old tapes of my school band, which he and Nolan knew well – all my friends lost their virginity listening to, or after watching, this band y’see!… poor Sam and Jamie, they were exposed to the worst music I’ve ever heard since getting past the age of 16 – remember Ned’s Atomic Dustbin? We were worse! So terrible! But Nolan was smiling, Dan was dancing, I was cringing, Helen was sleeping and Sam and Jamie were speechless! Early start tomorrow, heading to Portland; that’s a 10 hour drive! Well, we’ve started now, God bless all those sailing….!